Evanovich's Daily Stephanie Plum Quote

I have some great quotes for you guys today! 
  

“I was ready to put out, but he got some acid reflux from the cookies and had to go home.” Grandma Mazur, Lean Mean Thirteen
“Joyce Barnhardt! Joyce Barnhardt couldn't carry your water pail! You're better than Joyce Barnhardt!” Helen Plum, Four to Score
“What's the matter? This the first time you've seen a hung-over transvestite? Sally Sweet, Four to Score
“Connie and me were just thinking we needed some chocolate doughnuts, weren't we, Connie?” Lula, Hot Six
“Has anyone told him the horse kid belongs to Valerie?” Frank Plum, Hard Eight
“All you have to do is pee on the plastic strip and wait for it to change color.” Mary Lou Molnar, Four to Score
“I think we should look in her panties drawer. That's where I'd go if I was a snake.” Big Dog, Hard Eight
“I've been to the other side. I see things. I got the eye.” Grandma Bella, Four to Score
“This here's the first time she exploded a garbage truck.” Lula, High Five
“Cupcake, your middle name is trouble.” Joe Morelli, Four to Score
“It wasn't my fault that the funeral parlor burned down. And I almost never shoot people.” Stephanie, Hard Eight
“Bob's been a good boy today, except for eating that roll of toilet paper.” Grandma Mazur, Hot Six
“What do you think you are, the Terminator?” Vincent Plum, Hard Eight
“I don't do things I feel are morally wrong. But sometimes my moral code strays from the norm.” Ranger, High Five
“I love fast food. You can count on it. No surprises.” Albert Kloughn, Hard Eight
“He doesn't actually eat furniture. I mean chewing isn't eating, is it?” Brian Simon, Hot Six'

Wow!! I've really been a slacker! I hope you get a good laugh out of them anyway!! Enjoy!!

“How many times have I told you not to hit people in the face. You kick them in the body where it doesn't show.” Vinnie, High Five